Thanks to Charmaine tay, a* knows that I am holding a grudge against him. And it is the last thing I needed since a* is such a big bully he probably forgot whatever mean things he said to me.

sigh.
but then again, looking at an objective manner, i guess the so called "trauma" is really a
puny thing. besides. its been frigging 3 years ago!!! so why is it that i just keep holding this goddamned memory?!

Do I want an apology? Yes. But hey, what am I gonna do with it? Will it make me feel better about myself? No. The damage is already done. irrevocable. everytime that i fail in anything, his ugly head rears into my dreams.

Do I want him to treat me nicely from now on and be a much better person than he was three years ago? Yes. But thats not within my control and thus it is none of my concern.

so yvonne. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

i dunno... i've forgotten most of the stuff. But the piece of pensiveness is always there to haunt me.

maybe its not him.

maybe its just me=(