I feel like such a right mess now.


They just keep

pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing pressing

When I press back, rebelling from the pain,

They press back harder

Until I am going to break apart.
Until I BURST into bits and piece.
Until to the point where breathing hurts...

Until I dissolved into nothingness.

There is no space for me to go now.

People seem to vent their frustrations and unhappiness with life on me.

I think they forgot that I am not the source of Misfortune.
I think they choose to ignore the fact that I am only 16+.
I think they think I am a convient punch bag .
I think they hate the fact that i weak.

Excuse me, im only 16 plus!

I mean, this is ridiculous. I am going insane and I am still refusing to talk to anyone about it. It is just a call away to any one of my friends and I am sure the party on the other line will drop whatever she has on her hands and listen to whatever I have to say.

But I just can't.

The days whereby I can freely talk to anyone about just about anything on my mine seems to be a long time ago. I cannot relate to anyone anymore. Nor do I think they can actually relate to me. It is as though I am living on a planet so different from the one that I used to know...

I tried to talk to a confidant of mine, but for some strange reason I feel like screaming at every word she says even though she is very close friend of mine.
And sad to say, because of her, I get the idea that probably every one else would think the same-

it is my fault. no matter what.

And when I say that phrase, some ppl wasted no time in telling me that it sound as though I was trying to make myself look innocent.

goodness.

I can't say anything that really fits what I'm trying to say.
I feel myself closing up and snapping whoever even tries to come close. I have become more irritable and I have trouble being the way I used to be.
I wouldn't be surprised if I have changed into an introvert.
I cannot even speak to anyone on a day by day basis without offending them. And yet, deep down I know such moody temperaments of mine is not really of my fault.

Who wouldn't be near to tears all the time if they were in my shoes?

2 more days and its 2nd july... a very special day for my special one...
will be catching movie[ just my luck mayb?] at the cathay cineplex, my current favourite theatre...then BEN N JERRY!! i wan t eat Cherry Garciar Ice Cream, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream ND Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream<3<3
OMG madnessssssssss........
anyway hope it would be anything but boring....

tmr will be the db competition, hope we can win=)
8, 9 , 10 stretch out!