I'm "single" which also mark the fact that im " free" again.( just ended the not here nor there relationship)

Reason for ending the relationship, i couldnt make the final step. i couldnt trust. So last night i called him up, telling him that this relationship arent going to blossom.And we shouldnt waste our time on smth like this. I told him things which i haven told anyone. it never feels as good as you imagine but I am nonetheless... relieved.

still struggling with guilt. A guilt that gnaws every once in a while. A guilt that's not supposed to be. But it is. It's not a personal guilt, but more of a fear of social opinion, like shame, as if I'm obliged to cut even with every familiar, curious face I meet on the streets. Not that they'd be interested. But I'd just hate to think of what's going on behind that "hey jessamine! See you ard!" Not that it should matter to me. But it does.

Maybe I should just have more faith in humanity again. That if I do not judge, the chances are, others won't either.

It's not an outcome of a deliberate, concious action. But a need. A weak helpless cry from within, that renders us all bitches, sluts, bastards and jerks.

I might be gone for quite some time. Goodbye now